What do you say when.....

A) While standing in the checkout line at Walmart, your son farts loud enough for everyone in the immediate vacinity to hear. And when you remind him of his manners, he points at the horrified looking elderly woman standing behind you and shouts "IT WASEN'T ME, IT WAS HER!".

B) While shopping on a different occasion you notice your son holding his...um...private parts through his pants and when you ask if he has to use the restroom he says no. Your brain can't quite grasp why he would be holding onto it (in a store of all places) if he didn't have to use the restroom so you ask him why he is doing that and he shouts "BECAUSE IT IS HARD!"

C) While driving through the parking lot of a grocery store, your son tells you and your girlfriend to "CHECK OUT THAT HOT CHICK!" as a 50+ year old woman in dress shorts and

these boots------------------------------>

strolls through the crosswalk in front of your car.